Daunted.

Emotionally down.
It may be caused by menstruation.
I always hated this monthly thing.

Before i start, i need to tell you that this post will be lengthy.
You can choose not to read, really.

If i could give a change in life, i would change me.
Because i'm so fucking ugly. I want to be slim & pretty!
Wear trendy & sexy outfit. & Get the attention i deserve.
If prayers could be answered, i'd ask for money.
Because money do wonders.
(I'll use it to invest in slimming center. Or maybe, liposuction.
I'll buy a new wardrobe because a truck of new apparels
are moving into it. Use $2 to dump it on those fuck faces who looked down on me.
Eat onions, garlic and smelly food to create foul breath so that i can blow it straight
to fuck' faces whom teased me, embarrassed me. A part of the money, i'll
use it for charity(maybe 100? haha) The rest will be savings (: How nice? )

Don't use ' don't think so much ' on me.
This sentence will only help in E X P A N Ding my wound.
& it's causing much more hurt than I'm feeling right now.
Because this sentence is so untrue
People say this only with closed up heart.
They shut their ears and play their own music in heart,
they can't hear what they're saying.
Probably, just words they carry and it has no meaning in it.
They use their empty soul to say out this sentence so as to make me feel better.
Thank You. But i don't need it.
Deep down, we know, this is real.
What I'm thinking about is the truth which may hurt now,
somehow in the future, I'll get immune to what reality has for me.

I'll be able to handle awful negative thoughts which are running
through every veins in my body, passing through blood to get me down
kneeling on floor, crying, begging to be saved.
Because I've learnt to let go, move on and these will only make me grow strong in life.

Pathetically, if you know i'm just using words to comfort myself.
I'm not x1000000 fine.
I need a leaning shoulder to cry on.