Folks, the once in a year celebration's here again.
Firstly, Happy Chinese New Year (:

&Not forgetting my dearest babe, NanaL , 20th Birthday, which had just passed 40mins?

Happy 20th Birthday, luv.

Presents we got for her.

Thats her sweetheart, Yalong.

Smashing of cakes had always been Fish's forte.


Tadah, the birthday girl.

cake on her boyfriend,

& Elson :) Laughhhhhh!

My sweetest, nanaL.

Pairs up.



Angela insisted on a solo picture of a dress-on-shine.
(laugh at me , not!)

Been so long since we had multiple shots.

Who's loving it? Kelv.

Kelv & Angel.

A happy pie, kimmy.

Don't feel bored, long-ge, lemme entertain you!

& that's the very handsome deekie & Wenhan.


My best, Gary.

Whose idea to pose with in the handicap?

Oh, thats Noelle (: & the drunk deekie. Very candid.

Angel&Noelle.

The best of the best, Gene, Kelv, Chau.

These girls. Never Never Apart. I hope.

Then it was liquor and finger games which i'm sucked at! Noel&Nicholas was victimized!
You should see their facial expression. You'll have a good laugh! Ha!

Kelv Ilene Deekie and Na was drunk.
A picture to share.
When two drunkards get together, you'll get this.

Anyway, it was K which kept me accompanied. Together with Rino&KPL!
It's always oh-so-fun with it around.

But when K's around, shine gets emotional.
Got chilled by them. I don't feel good but at the same time, i feel goooooood.
Because it shows how much they care about me and i feel important.

I'm sorry friends.
I'm sorry that i made you guys dissappointed.
I'm sorry that i does the ' monkey see monkey do ' stuff.
I'm sorry that i'm still so stupid after umpteen times of brainwash.
I'm sorry that i keep things away from you because i'm too ashame to admit it.
I'm sorry that i'm too sociable and trusted everyone i met.
I'm sorry... sorry that ... that i made the same mistake.

Shine is leaving Singapore for Malaysia to do Visitation tomorrow!
I'll bring back some bubble gum if i can find any shops opening there.
(&Provided that i won't get stop by the custom officer)
So, be sure to miss her okay? :)

If i had a magic wand, i'd make the world a happier place.

My mistake, my bad.

Disappointment after disappointment.
They held great hopes and promises in me. They gave me the best of them.
This time round, it's their hearts that i crushed. They must've felt as awful.

I wonder how much tears a human can shed and how long it takes to go blind.
Time and again, i repeat the mistake i made. Excuses and stupid reasons i gave myself
so that i could feel better was much of a facade. Because there was nothing i could do
when i'm facing the consequences. Fuck. I feel so helpless.

I really hate it when i've to be seperated from someone so close. To face 4 cold walls by myself, nowhere else to look except through the transparent glass panels. I don't feel comfy when those motherfuckers look at me like i'm being exhibited. I really hate it. There was nowhere else i could hide myself.

Going through the same old shit was really bad. Forcing out piss and poking a needle through my lil fingers was painful. I don't understand what has all these got to do with my mistake. Fuck. Big shots fuckers make me wait for them in a room. At that moment, i wished i had a key to free myself. And if i can, i hope to screw them down.

Advantages were bullshit to people like me just because i'm not pretty enough.
Being pinned down verbally was humiliating. So much more to feel in that scary cold place.

I crossed my heart and swore, I don't want to step in there, again.
No, not a step. Never, near that place. Never again.

That place brings only bitterness to people who loves me,
& i know well that they don't deserve it.

I'm really sorry, mom.

God Bless Me,

2006's

Time goes by, no time to cry.

Was browsing through old pictures in my folder,
and tadaaaaa~ i happened to find a few pictures like this.
Back then, was still a happy-go-lucky-girl ( I'm still one),
I think i look much happier than i am now. Am i?

Whatever, i'm just trying to kill time while waiting for the JAE website to load.
Did i mention that i screwed up my O's? I'm trying to apply for poly courses now.
Not sure if they'll accept me. Hopefully they will after receiving my appeal letter.

Ah, something's bothering me still. Shatec.
I guess the fees alone gonna kill my parents and me ):
I'll have to work double hard to pay my school fees.
Sigh.

Although they've been supporting and encouraging me.
I think my results must have disappoint my family. Alot, i meant.
): I feel lousy.

I got back my results. I screwed it up.
I don't know what'll be my next step. Prolly, Shatec.


&Something to share.
From Ilene's blog,

There's another 2 jerks out there on the run.
Marcus, watch where they're going. So justice will be returned to you.
Rest In Peace.

In our hearts, you'll live.

On Halloween, the first time i met you at lower pierce.
You came down with painted face. You scared the shit outta me.

Not only that, you jumped and played around the reservoir.
Going down the slope, holding onto people's ankle when they walked pass, giving them a shock.
I remember you wanted to scare me, i screamed, but you got shocked. Tsk!
We took pictures together.

On your 18th Birthday. A memorable one (:

I was asked to hold your birthday cake. They had ulterior motive.

They attacked you with flours and egg.

I remember an egg hit your eyes and left you with a bruised eye.
You retaliated and caught people who attacked you.

I was off guard, paying attention only to your birthday cake.
You caught me and ~ That was what happened.

I was covered with flours and cake, so were you.
I had fun on your birthday, i know you were happy too!

On WC's birthday, i did something mean.
I munched on a few biscuit and blew the crumbs on you.
You took a step back and told me i shouldn't play because you could do that too.
Did we play cake on you? There were pictures we took together.

Exactly 9 days ago, you were at lower pierce celebrating D,A,F's birthday with us.
You were still talking, joking and playing around with us. Happy!
We sat in a circle with with WC&Co, talking about Red Light District,
You laughed at my ignorance. You were smiling, widely.

We had plans on going to your favourite salted water to fish,
plans you made.. Like catching a 200kg fish. Sailing out to fish,
All the plans... Weren't carried out. All because of some goddamn hooligans.
We lose you in a 3 minutes attack.

It must have hurt alot having all the pipes going through your nose, mouth and wherever it went through. All the pain you went through which you don't deserve to. I know i know.
But It hurts me to see a lively you lying there lifeless on the bed.
You made me feel like shaking you on your shoulder and screaming at you when you don't respond when i'm talking to you, don't look at me when i'm starring at you.

It was hard that day when you left us behind, moving on.
Everyone sat in solemn silence. We cried, you saw that, didn't you?

Marcus, you know something? You were GREAT!
Although you didn't make through. I'm proud that you endured and fought with it.
We won't blame you for giving up. You ought to be free from that machine. Relieve of pain.

We bought you things like Hi-fi set, cologne, LV bags ~
And not forgetting your favourite fishing rod(We made it ourselves), and bought you a bike.
A small one, though. Don't worry! A big one's coming your way. && MONEY!

Don't cry, Marcus. We're by your side.
Today, we've walked you through your last journey.
Don't be afraid when you're moving into the next world.
It'll be a fun one. You can watch over us at the another end of the world.
You'll be happy and get the peace you sought. You'll have many friends there.

You were an AWESOME friend, Marcus.
We'll never never never forget you. I promise you.
Cross my heart and swear. Remember to come into our dreams.
Or maybe visit us. I promise i won't scream when i see you, k?

Sigh.


Pictures of you and all the times spent with you made up pieces of memories.
I use it to reminisce, to look back.


Marcus, We love you.
Rest in peace, my dearest friend.