If i had a magic wand, i'd make the world a happier place.

My mistake, my bad.

Disappointment after disappointment.
They held great hopes and promises in me. They gave me the best of them.
This time round, it's their hearts that i crushed. They must've felt as awful.

I wonder how much tears a human can shed and how long it takes to go blind.
Time and again, i repeat the mistake i made. Excuses and stupid reasons i gave myself
so that i could feel better was much of a facade. Because there was nothing i could do
when i'm facing the consequences. Fuck. I feel so helpless.

I really hate it when i've to be seperated from someone so close. To face 4 cold walls by myself, nowhere else to look except through the transparent glass panels. I don't feel comfy when those motherfuckers look at me like i'm being exhibited. I really hate it. There was nowhere else i could hide myself.

Going through the same old shit was really bad. Forcing out piss and poking a needle through my lil fingers was painful. I don't understand what has all these got to do with my mistake. Fuck. Big shots fuckers make me wait for them in a room. At that moment, i wished i had a key to free myself. And if i can, i hope to screw them down.

Advantages were bullshit to people like me just because i'm not pretty enough.
Being pinned down verbally was humiliating. So much more to feel in that scary cold place.

I crossed my heart and swore, I don't want to step in there, again.
No, not a step. Never, near that place. Never again.

That place brings only bitterness to people who loves me,
& i know well that they don't deserve it.

I'm really sorry, mom.

God Bless Me,