Someone told me something really hurtful last week.
(I'm sorry, i don't know how to put it into words and share it with y'guys)
It hurts so badly that i needed someone to give me a bear hug.
It's not like i don't know about it. I knew it long before i was told a hundredth times.
I know how reality works. I know how i can't run away from it. I just feel like putting on a pretense.
Yea, till that fateful night, someone has to disclose my secret getaway and put me back on track.

The (x) on the left chest doesn't feel comfortable now.
It feels like it has a stone weighing on it >: The lungs are like lack of oxygen.
I get goosebumps at times. And feel like someone pinches my chest.
Exaggerating, it may sound. But tell me, how could this feel so real now.

>: This time feels very different from the ones i get every once or twice a month.
I hope it's a symptoms of the coming of my menstruation. 
Because these mixed feelings are killing me inside.

Don’t you hate it when people make a joke about you, about something that you are actually incredibly insecure about. And they don’t realise it, but every laugh feels like a stab in your chest, because it hurts so much and brings up memories you’d rather forget. But you can’t say anything, because then people would know your weaknesses. They’d know how insecure you really are. So instead you just laugh it off, and hide the pain you feel inside.

-Recordedbutterflies.

Friends are people who comes around and be there for you.
They share your burden, problems and your happiness.
They are also the people who often take you for granted.
1. You're to share their burden.
2. You're to solve their problem.
3. You hear their happiness but never activate it.
You faces more problems than usual. Your + Their problem goes back to oneself.
Then, these problems weigh you down. 
It's a double reverse cycle, realize it?

Hello existing souls.

Life hasn't been good. Why?
Now, read me.

•   I'm down with rashes all over my face.
  Both cheeks are swelling which makes my lips out of place. Distortion.
  You can imagine a hot air balloon with polka dots now. -laugh your ass at me now-

• I am not feeling good about myself.
  I am having this binge eating disorder_|_
  It's already bad nuff' to gain back the weight i lose at a fast rate.
  The worst part is, i don't know what causes me to binge eat.

• I'm spending my money to nowhere.
  If i had only bought a few items then where are the remaining cash?
  K, so i think i am a ah sia kia who gets $500 allowance from my sibey rich parents,
  & apart from that, i can swipe credit/visa card to get any/everything.
  Back at reality, I am squeezing out the tiny bits from my (skinny) piggy bank, now.
  I just realize that i'm almost using up all my savings. (For my degree & for slimming.)
  Naiseee(Y) 

• Few dickholes think that i am a mama san.
  Eh seriously, are you paying me the same rate or higher than the market rate paid to the mama san(s)?
  Else, you think i have A' class whores around me?
  Really, fuck off. I'm not paid to work as a Mama neither am i out to sell my girlfriends.

I'm not ready to face the world yet.
I know time is running out but i ......

still need some time to grow up.